Strength Centered Comments...

When our children were younger Chad taught a Dale Carnegie Human Relations and Public Speaking course. This opportunity was a blessing for our family in so many ways. The fact that it helps us financially was an incredible blessing but the biggest blessings came from the teachings themselves. Because Chad would practice these concepts with the kids they learned to communicate, especially with adults. This has been a skill they have used and will continue to use throughout their lives. They also all have the ability to stand in front of a crowd and deliver a well thought out speech. They learned how to memorize; they learned how to use the conversation stack to carry on conversations with others; they learned how to not criticize, condemn or complain; and many others. One of the most enjoyable exercises was learning to give and accept strength centered comments. As a family we would sit in a circle and give a strength centered comment to the person sitting next to us. We did this quite often and it blessed our family with confidence, strength and increased love. It taught us how to look for the good in others and how to accept compliments. The rules for this exercise are as follows:

• Recognize a strength – Identify a positive that you see with in that person. Then let them know why that strength is important and relevant. Say what and why...
• Keep it brief – Try to keep your comment to 30 seconds or less. Being short and concise will allow your message to be more powerful. You will have the person's complete attention during this time. Also, you must have eye contact at all times.
  
• Focus on the person and not yourself – Remember, you are trying to build confidence and uplift others. It is important to shine the light on the person you are giving the comment to and not on yourself. Do not make it flowery or pretend. It must be sincere and thoughtful.
• Response – All you can say is Thank you. Nothing else. Don't try to downplay it or make excuses.

One of the most memorable experiences we had was when our daughter was about 4 and her older brother would have been about 8. Kimberly could not wait to sit next to CJ. You could tell that she had something to say. Her enthusiasm was electrifying. When it was her turn she looked at CJ and said, "CJ, I love you because you are soooo handsome". It was so sweet. I love that our children love each other and have the confidence to tell each other why. What a great blessing to our family.