The Day the Music Died...

  

There are two kinds of people in our household, one that loves jazz music and one that loves the one that loves jazz music. Because I am the latter, I have found myself at concerts I normally would not attend. Recently, I was at a concert listening to Dave Koz play the Saxaphone. I was the one in the audience blubbering. No, not just shedding a tear or even crying, but blubbering - you know, the ugly cry. Wondering where these emotions had come from, I began to recall memories from my childhood.

My dad was diagnosed with Diabetes at the age of 13. Being sick and small in stature, he decided to take up the Saxaphone. His twin brother told me that this brought him much happiness as well as a way to pick up girls. Fast forward many years and dad's health is not good. Most of my childhood memories are of him in and out of the hospital. I remember many evenings where you could hear him playing the Sax in his room. I often would question why and assumed that it was either mom wouldn't let him play out in the living room or that he just wanted to be alone. As I listened to Dave Koz play his new hit entitled, "New Hope" (https://youtu.be/kvO53APyoAs) I had the epiphany that playing the Sax gave Dad hope. It brought him peace and comfort. It was his way of dealing with the struggles he was facing. 

Fast forward a few more years. Dad's health is worse. He is unable to fight an infection in his hand and so they amputate his arm. Looking back, I realize that there was no more Saxaphone in the house. The beautiful sounds from the bedroom had stopped. So many thoughts were running through my head. How did dad cope? Where did dad find hope now? Why hadn't I noticed? Why was I so selfish to not see, or even hear, his need for love, understanding and hope?

In the middle of my blubbering, wondering if it was going to stop, I had another memory. Dad lying on the living room couch every Sunday afternoon listening to his favorite albums. Mom made him store his stereo equipment in the closet so the living room didn't look messy but that didn't stop him from enjoying the music. It was music that gave him hope and when he couldn't supply his own hope, he learned to rely on others to supply the hope he needed. 

I realize that when struggles come my way, I rely on music to bring me hope as well. Many a restless night have turned to peace through my earbuds. It is the Dave Koz' of the world that provide a "New Hope" when the old one no longer works. To those that share their talents, goodness and kindness for the benefit of others - a big Thank You - you never know whose life you are making better, even if it for only a small moment. 

I recently had someone tell me that they are looking forward to meeting their dad, on the other side, one day. I write this with sadness in my heart as I realize that I truly do not know my father very well and I too, look forward to "meeting" him again. And, on that day, I pray that he has his saxophone, and we can enjoy some music in between our conversations together. Who knows, he might even let me accompany him on the piano. What a joyful day that will be!

Joy

It seems like I hear the word joy often. In the scriptures we are commanded to have joy. We are told that we cannot know joy if we don't know misery. We learn that Adam fell so that man could have joy. When listening to the endowment in the Temple you hear the word joy multiple times. When listening to conference last October it seemed like every talk spoke of joy. What is joy? I have contemplated this question for several years now and recently I found the answer. The answer came in a still small voice as I sat in the sealing room with my husband, four children and their spouses. It was reiterated to me as we all sat in the Celestial room together. I was told that I was making it too complicated. I was told that I already know what joy is. I was told it was found in the things I know.

So, what do I know and what brings me joy?

I know that I am a daughter of God and that He knows me and loves me.
I know that my family can be eternal.
I know that my family loves each other and wants to be eternal.
I know that I have a Savior that has atoned for my sins and made it possible for me to return to the presence of my Father in Heaven.
I know that my husband loves me and that we are sealed for time and for eternity.
I know that I will see my earthly father and grandparents again.
I know that the Priesthood is real and that it has incredible power to heal.
I know that there is a Prophet on the earth today to guide us.
I know that the Book of Mormon is true and written for our day.
I know that the Proclamation of the World is an inspired document and the answers to so many questions.
I know the church is true and that the gospel of Jesus Christ brings hope and peace.
I know that the Lord has blessed me more than I could have ever imagined.
I know the sweet feeling of forgiveness, the happiness of obedience and the assurance of promised blessings.

I know that my redeemer lives.
I know what joy is!

Defenders of the Family Unit

What an incredible week. CJ and his family came up from Tennessee for the week and then Chris and his family came for the Easter weekend. We had a blast. We went to museums to learn, create, experiment, and explore. We went to an aquarium to touch, watch, laugh, question and awe. We stayed home on a rainy/snowy day, all day in our pajamas, where we cooked, colored, painted,  played, competed, cut, glued, sang and ate. On the sunny days we ran, jumped, swung, twirled, hit, threw, went to the zoo and rod in the Jeep. On Sunday we worshiped, prayed, hunted for eggs and feasted. We were family! (minus a few).

The Family; A Proclamation to the World tells us that we need to

defend the family. It states, "Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets. We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society".

Satan would have us believe otherwise but the family is the most important unit in God's plan. Families can be forever. I for one am grateful for the family unit and promise to be a defender of it!

Strength Centered Comments...

When our children were younger Chad taught a Dale Carnegie Human Relations and Public Speaking course. This opportunity was a blessing for our family in so many ways. The fact that it helps us financially was an incredible blessing but the biggest blessings came from the teachings themselves. Because Chad would practice these concepts with the kids they learned to communicate, especially with adults. This has been a skill they have used and will continue to use throughout their lives. They also all have the ability to stand in front of a crowd and deliver a well thought out speech. They learned how to memorize; they learned how to use the conversation stack to carry on conversations with others; they learned how to not criticize, condemn or complain; and many others. One of the most enjoyable exercises was learning to give and accept strength centered comments. As a family we would sit in a circle and give a strength centered comment to the person sitting next to us. We did this quite often and it blessed our family with confidence, strength and increased love. It taught us how to look for the good in others and how to accept compliments. The rules for this exercise are as follows:

• Recognize a strength – Identify a positive that you see with in that person. Then let them know why that strength is important and relevant. Say what and why...
• Keep it brief – Try to keep your comment to 30 seconds or less. Being short and concise will allow your message to be more powerful. You will have the person's complete attention during this time. Also, you must have eye contact at all times.
  
• Focus on the person and not yourself – Remember, you are trying to build confidence and uplift others. It is important to shine the light on the person you are giving the comment to and not on yourself. Do not make it flowery or pretend. It must be sincere and thoughtful.
• Response – All you can say is Thank you. Nothing else. Don't try to downplay it or make excuses.

One of the most memorable experiences we had was when our daughter was about 4 and her older brother would have been about 8. Kimberly could not wait to sit next to CJ. You could tell that she had something to say. Her enthusiasm was electrifying. When it was her turn she looked at CJ and said, "CJ, I love you because you are soooo handsome". It was so sweet. I love that our children love each other and have the confidence to tell each other why. What a great blessing to our family.

Love languages...

We are blessed with four incredible children. They truly are our miracle children and we will be eternally grateful for the joy they have bought into our lives. With our first we were very naïve and thought that because our children came from the same two parents and would be raised in the same environment they would all be the same. We were so wrong. We have four different children with different personalities, likes, dislikes and needs. Because they were different we had to discipline and teach them differently. They each have their own love language. Recently my daughter posted on Instagram "updates" on her children. She highlighted their differences, how much they have grown, things they are doing, phrases they had recently said, and things that she loves about them. I thought it would be fun to "update" you on our children.

CJ - The oldest. A father of three. A loving husband. Helpful to his wife. Involved father. Family is his greatest joy. Confident. Faithful. Talented. A great teacher. Works hard/plays hard. Athletic. A coach in many aspects of his life. Loves the gospel of Jesus Christ with all his heart. Outgoing. Effective negotiator. Supportive. Encouraging. Practical. Successful. MBA. Speaks Dutch.

Chris - The second. Also a father of three. Loves his family with all his heart. Calm. Obedient. Humble. Tenderhearted. Thoughtful. Focused. Loves the gospel of Jesus Christ as well. Inquisitive. Studious. Fun loving/goofy/wild side. Athletic. Daredevil. Tallest. Easy going. Faithful. "Punny". Working on his PHD. Speaks Samoan.

Kim - The rose among the thorns. Without guile. Kind. Sure. Compassionate. Full of charity for others. Mother of two. A mother who knows! Teaches, guides and loves her children with Christ-like love. Smart. Creative. Musical. Great athlete. Wonderful wife and daughter. Respectful. Forgiving. Loves the gospel too. Clever. Loves to laugh. "Tech" teacher. Speaks Spanish.

Corey - Is and always will be the baby. Happy. Humble. Newly married and totally in love. Obedient. Affectionate. Witty. Hard worker. Conscientious. Goal driven. Enjoys life. Outgoing. Loves the gospel. Thoughtful. Forgiving. Respectful. Athletic. Smart. Studying engineering. Started first internship. Speaks Spanish.

Priesthood of God.

I have a testimony of many things. I have a testimony of Girls Camp and the incredible spiritual experience it can bring to Young Women. I have a testimony of EFY and the power of influence for good it had on my children as far as scripture study and better music choices. I have a testimony of Seminary and it's value of putting on the armor of God every morning. I have a testimony of the Savior's atonement and the power to forgive as well as give hope. I have a testimony of the power of the Holy Ghost and it's power to bring peace and comfort as well as guide. I found that as I live and experience different aspects of the gospel my testimony in that area grows by leaps and bounds. There are many areas I need to continue to work on like family history. My first testimony in the gospel was when I was a young girl. That testimony is of the Priesthood. The power of God on the earth today. I have seen this power throughout my life and will be eternally grateful for a father, grandfather, brother, husband, sons, home teachers, bishops, etc. that have strengthened this testimony. Of all the incredible Priesthood holders in my life my father stands out most. He honored, loved, and understood the Priesthood. He taught me from a very young age to also honor and respect the Priesthood. He was a courageous example of what a Priesthood holder should be. Dad was quite ill during his life, especially the last seven years. I was a teenager at the time. One time when he was in the hospital, in isolation, Chad was ready to receive the Melchizedek priesthood and wanted my dad to confer that upon him. Dad was so ill that he could barely open his eyes, let alone sit up. We got permission from the Stake President to do the ordinance in the hospital. It was amazing to watch my dad sit up, give an incredible prayer, and lie back down drained. He had the faith and the Lord blessed him. Dad so wanted the Priesthood to be in his home. I know that he understood that home teachers were available but he wanted it there, in the home. At the time my brother to young so it would been a few more years before he would be a Priesthood holder. Chad and I were married in the Mesa Temple and my dad was well enough to make it to the ceremony. He was one of the witnesses. He was in a wheelchair at the time. After the ceremony he leaned over to my mom and whispered, "I can go know, there is a Priesthood holder in the home". The next day was Father's day then on Monday he went back into the hospital and passed away shortly after. There is no doubt in my mind that had Chad not joined our family my dad would have waited for my brother to get the Priesthood. It was that important to him. Since that day I have experienced many wonderful aspects of the Priesthood. I have worked in ward councils, my husband has been a Bishop and in the Stake Presidency, my sons have all served missions, I have seen father's blessings, blessings of healing, babies blessed, baptisms, and confirmations. I have the incredible blessing and privilege of working  in the Temple. And many more, too many to mention. The Priesthood and my testimony of it are one of the greatest blessings in my life.

Mothers who know...

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/mothers-who-know?lang=eng

Sister Julie Beck gave an incredible talk in 2007 entitled "Mothers Who Know". In it she talked about the power and influence of mothers. As I was recently reading this talk for class I was reminded of the incredible mothers - who know - that my daughter and daughter-in-laws are. These loving women, Kim - Alli - Jessica - Michelle, know how important their role as mother is. They are teaching their children correct principles. They have chosen to be home for their children. They love being mothers and never make excuses for their choice. They are daughters of God and they know that they are responsible for helping His children, whom He has given them responsibility for, to return to Him someday.  I love being with them and seeing the joy they have in their posterity. I love that they rejoice in their little ones accomplishments. I love that they cry with them in the hard times; laugh with then in funny times; and mourn with them when mistakes are made. Sister Beck said that mothers who know honor sacred covenants and ordinances. She also said they stand strong and immovable. These four daughters of mine exemplify all of these. I love that they love the gospel. That they love the Lord. That they honor the Priesthood their husbands hold. That they are converted to the ways of the Lord. But even more, I love that they are teaching their children the same ideal. As I look over all the wonderful blessings in my life, and there are many, one of the greatest blessings is having four beautiful daughters that are mothers who know.